The Highlight of my tenure at Walmart (thus far)

In 2004 I went back to school briefly and so I switched from overnights to afternoons. I was stocking in the Pet Department and as the store was busy we were encountering a lot of customer traffic. At this point I need to pause and say that when I interact with customers I try to give them the utmost respect so terms like"ladies", "gentlemen" I'll use frequently. On this particular day I had to go between a mother and her daughter. Honestly, I have no idea how old the girl was as I just had to walk between the mother and daughter. From the sound of her voice (the daughter) I think she was probably ten or younger. So as walked between the two of them I said my standard, "Excuse me ladies", not even thinking about the fact that one was quite young. I took two steps and I heard the girl say to her mom, "He called me lady!" That made my day, week, month year! It's such a good feeling to give someone a smile!

Fun with a coworker

Over the last four years I've mowed a lot of lawns. The one big lawn I did was actually a graveyard. To keep my sanity (what little of it there is) I would talk to the "residents" while I mowed. (I suppose that is evidence of more insanity then sanity, but oh well.) I'd say excuse me or on a break just stop and talk. A lot of times it was just for kicks and kept me smiling.

My routine before mowing the graveyard was to take my water and long sleeve t shirt (the weather could turn cold very quickly), put it on a headstone, tell the "resident" to watch it and to make sure that their neighbor didn't steal it. I always got a kick out of this. So one day I allegedly did my routine and when I stopped mowing for a drink I couldn't find my water. Understandably, I was a little freaked out. I'd been talking to these headstones and all the sudden it seemed that they were playing games with my mind. As it turns out I had forgotten to take the water out of my car. That night at work I was telling a coworker this story. She thought I was strange to begin with (as do a lot of people) and so I knew I could really have some fun. I explained to her my routine and that when I went to the headstone I thought I had put it on and it wasn't there I got mad at the "resident" because they had let one of the other residents steal my water. Understandably I couldn't get anyone to tell me who took it :-) and so I went up to my car. One of the residents actually had taken my water off the gravestone and snuck it back up to my car. All without me seeing it! So I say this to this lady. She looks at me and says. "You're on drugs." Because I've been taking medication for the last 20 plus years I was able to say "Yes I am!" :-) That was a fun night! Playing with peoples minds can be quite enjoyable!

Walmart Commercials

Working for Wlamrt/Sams Club for as long as I have (15 years at the end of August '09) something happens to you. I'm guessing this is the case in any job but as the years went by I looked for ways to amuse myself...sometimes I didn't even know I was doing it!



Walmart sells thousands of prodiucts and each has a name (obviously). It has to be catch and atractive, yada yada, yada. Some product names can be used in sentences. I'll give an example using laundry detergent.


The Sun was setting as the Surf hit the beach. I ran up the beach hoping, as the waves Gained on me, that All my clothes (from the 80s Era) would stay dry.


So one night I was stocking the Health and Beauty Aids (HBA), specfically adult diapers. Using all the names of products this is what Icame up with:


The Assurance you have Depends on your Poise


Yeah. I know. Way too much free time on my hands but hwat else am I gonna do while I work? So here's another one from HBA, this time using tampons.


To Stayfree you must Always be Carefree.


In order to come up with things like this you must have a very dry sense of humor and an unique brain. I have both. Some would say very unique. I say this because sometimes your brain does things without your knowledge. It will work on problems, etc. Apparently my brain was bored one day so it just started working on assembling a paragraph using baby diapers. One night at work I was pulling a pallet of infants freight out to the floor. As I dropped the pallet in front of the department the following just popped in my head:


My baby has a Dri Bottom because he's sitting on a White Cloud that's Hugging the horizon. What's special about this baby is that he has a mother who Luvs and Pampers him.


I know it's kinda crazy but that's just how my brain works. It's really great most of the time. :-)